One of the most popular posts of all time on r/financialindependence is to Build the life you want, then save for it.

The general message is that instead of cutting back on everything (lattes, trips, etc.) to save for an ambiguous idea of what your life might look like in 20 years, you should invest in building a life that makes you feel more fulfilled today. That way, you have something you actually want to save for.

Ramit Sethi calls this “building your rich life”. People often mistakenly think of personal finance as just cutting down on spending as much as possible, turning saving in and of itself into a virtue. However, personal finance is actually about creating a clear vision of the life you want to live, and then setting up the goals and systems to help you achieve that vision.

That starts with identifying the things you LOVE to spend money on.

What do I love spending money on?

In no particular order, I love spending money on:

Travel
Relationships
Food
Backpacking
Books

1. Travel

It’s almost a cliche, but I love spending money on traveling. It’s typically my biggest spending category after rent and food. Whenever I travel, I get a unique perspective on a different way of life that I’m able to take back with me.

I really enjoy longer-term travel and provided I have the freedom and resources to do so, I’d love to do more of it. Two of my favorite experiences during my college years was studying abroad in Japan and taking a gap semester to work in Taiwan. Prior to going on those trips, I remember being nervous and uncertain if it would be the best decision for my career / education / personal growth. I spent weeks rationalizing weighing the pros and cons before ultimately deciding to go for it. Now, I’m happy to say that those were some of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

In Japan, not only did I get to experience a different way of living, but I also made close friends that I connect regularly with to this day. In Taiwan, I got the chance to reflect on the career path I wanted to pursue after college and reconnect with my cultural background and extended family, spending time with relatives who I grew up thousands of miles apart from.

Not every trip I go on has to be a soul-searching experience, but I find that traveling often gives me the space to reflect on what I truly value and enjoy in life, and that’s something I’m willing to spend on.

2. Relationships

A famous longitudinal study by Harvard university tracked the lives of the study participants for over 80 years and found that relationship satisfaction, more than money or fame, is what keep people happy. People who are satisfied with their relationships live longer, happier, and healthier lives.

It makes total sense to me. I love spending money on the people I care about, whether it’s treating my partner or friends to a meal, traveling to visit friends and family, or hiring a home organizer to help my parents declutter the house.

I often find it hard to spend money on myself, whether that’s getting new clothing or treating myself to a fancy meal. However, whenever someone else enters the picture, my internalized “is this actually worth it?” inhibitor just don’t register (in a good way!). I’m more than happy to say yes to paying $100 for meal with someone else, compared to spending $50 on a meal just for me.

3. Food

It may seem a bit contradictory to say I love spending money on food since I just talked about how I usually don’t spend too much on fancy meals, but I think it’s more about the type of food I enjoy spending money on.

While I don’t often go to fancier, Michelin-starred restaurants, I do enjoy crawling through street markets and discovering hidden gems run by mom-and-pop type establishments. I’d like to think that even if I had infinite money, I would still prefer to go to more down-to-earth establishments on a regular basis, compared to something more upscale.

When it comes to buying groceries, I often find myself walking through grocery stores or farmer’s markets for way longer than strictly necessary, scouring the aisles or stands for something new that catches my eye or a special ingredient that I’d been looking for. I imagine the feeling I get from walking around a grocery store is similar to the feeling others who are more fashionably-inclined get from shopping for clothes.

4. Backpacking

Backcountry backpacking (the kind where you go hiking) is one of the favorite hobbies that I picked up over the last 2 years. I had never gone camping as a kid growing up in the east bay, and WOW I was missing out.

The prepping / optimizing aspect of backpacking really scratches the “J” itch for me as an INTJ, and I didn’t expect how much visceral joy I would get from lighting up my camping stove to cook macaroni and cheese with jalapeños I sliced with my small pocket knife. And even though hiking can be difficult in the moment, I find it refreshing to block out the typical day-to-day distractions of modern society and just put one foot in front of the other. Of course, having amazing views is a big plus 🙂

Backpacking isn’t free though, and you have to get a decent amount of gear to be ready to go outdoors. In the r/Ultralight community, people spend thousands to get the lightest, most durable equipment to take with them on the trails (less weight = more comfort). I don’t think I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole that far yet, but I find that after every trip I go on, I buy a bunch of new things to make the next trip even better. Luckily for my wallet, REI allows returns within one year of purchase in case I buy something I don’t actually want or need.

5. Books

I love learning in general, and I believe books offer one of the highest returns in terms of money spent to new knowledge acquired. Whereas online articles might be written with just a couple hours of research (oops, is that too meta?), books are often much more polished and have a higher density of interesting information. People spend months if not years of their lives condensing their knowledge and experiences into stories and lessons that are sold for around $15 on Amazon. Where else will you get that kind of ROI?

Any time a friend recommends me a book, I’ve made it a general rule to just get the book and read it. If I read the book, it becomes interesting discussion material for the next time I chat with that friend, building our relationship as well. My dream is to one day have a library of books in my house/apartment, and whenever a friend comes by to browse the collection and stumbles on something they want to read, I can just gift them the book.

Closing thoughts

Since my subscriber base has grown a bit over the last few weeks (hello new friends!), I’d love to ask the crowd – what do you love spending money on and why?

Feel free to send a reply directly to this email or let me know in person! 🙂

❤️ My favorite things this week

⛰️ Hiking around Angel Island – In preparation for a backpacking trip in a few weeks, I went with our group to do a day hike in Angel Island, which I had somehow never been to before. We took a ferry to the island and made it to the top in just about an hour, where we saw a beautiful 360 view of the Bay Area. I’d love to go back to soak in the views for a little longer. If anyone hasn’t gone to Angel island before and wants to go, let me know!
🏮 Izakaya-themed 25th birthday party – Inspired by a friend, I decided I should probably try and do something for my birthday this year. Inspired by Christine and another friend, I decided I would host a small gathering at my place where I would serve an Izakaya-themed menu. I actually had a ton of fun planning and preparing the food, with a couple helping hands from the guests to finish off the cooking. It was so nice to see people from different parts of my life meshing together, and even though my place is small, I’d love to host/do more group cooking activities in the future.
🎱 Playing pool/billiards – I somehow ended up playing 8-ball pool twice over the course of the last two weeks. I found it surprisingly fun, and I’d love to play more in the future! Being good at pool seems like a really cool hidden talent to pull out of your back pocket.

That’s all for this week, see you next time!

Tim